The Hitman’s Bodyguard
When “triple-A” bodyguard Michael Bryce is assigned with escorting Darius Kincade – the most dangerous criminal alive – to a hearing in the Hague that will see the con testify against mass murderer Vladislav Dukhovich, chaos ensues. Reynolds and Jackson do what they do best and play themselves, while Salma Hayek is on top form as Darius’ psychotic, potty-mouthed lover. Still, there’s plenty of chuckle-worthy violence and action to keep you happy until next year’s Deadpool sequel. But with a distinct lack of much-needed bromance, just don’t expect Nick Fury to show up alongside the merc with a mouth.
The Emoji Movie
After one of the worst critical receptions of 2017, it was only natural that the Curious Rookie would investigate. Inside the world of a cellphone, Gene, a “meh”-faced emoji, tries to save emoji city Textopolis, after his ability to express multiple faces prompts the phone’s user to wipe the seemingly-glitchy handset. For a movie based on text messaging, it’s stuffed with self-importance; overstating the purpose of emojis as part of human communication. But the worst thing here is the plot, which reeks of the effortlessly-superior and therefore otherwise-incomparable Wreck-It Ralph. “Meh” doesn’t quite cover it, but a certain emoji does.
The Mullins invite six orphaned girls into their home, but things take a scary turn when the girls discover the evil Annabelle doll upstairs. The film’s scares are effective, and generate plenty of discomfort and tension, but they quickly outstay their welcome. And when the plot eventually surfaces, we learn that the doll’s origin has, annoyingly, already taken place off-screen. Annabellewas hardly the strongest entry in the series, but given the franchise’s current expansion with a threequel and second spin-off series in the works, you’d think they’d have conjured up something slightly more creative.
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